why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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