it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
