please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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