I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
