I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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