so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
