my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
