very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
