im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
