if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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