I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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