Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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