how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
