Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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