Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
