It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
