Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
