I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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