i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
