my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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