so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
