38 yer olds are good kisserssss
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
