i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
