I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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