Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
