Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am spending my child support on dildos
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
