So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
