Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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