all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
