Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
