My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
