god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
