It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hippo gnu deer
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
