so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
