Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
