party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
