This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
In America we eat man semen.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
