My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
