He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
