her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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