Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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