some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
