So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
