dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
