I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
