He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
