Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
