Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
