i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
