My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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