I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
